After losing his job, dad left us last week. My mom left a
few days later. She said she couldn’t be in the house by herself. It looks like
I don’t count for much.
If you don’t take into account the dirty dishes in the sink,
I’m really proud of how I’m doing for an eleven years old girl all by herself.
Nights are the worst. Every little noise makes me jumpy. I
don’t sleep in my room anymore; I just crash in the living room and leave the
TV on. It’s the only way sleep will come to me.
This morning, I’m cooking a big breakfast. I’m heating up
bacon in the microwave, cooking scrambled eggs while toasting two slices of
brown bread. Because there is no adult around to tell me I can’t have any, I’m brewing
coffee as well; Oh no! The electricity just went off. I should have known
better, the breaker must have blown.
Why is it that when adults build houses, they always locate
the breaker box in the basement and if that was not enough, they install it in
the darkest corner?
Since I’m on my own, I haven’t been in the basement; but now
I must face my fears and go down. I open the door, look down; it looks like a
huge dark mouth ready to swallow me. I hesitate; questioning if I really need
to re-set the breaker. “Come-on, don’t be a scary little girl” I tell myself.
I reach up to turn on the light, flip it, but nothing happens,
darkness is not going away, it must be on the same blown breaker. Gosh, I can’t
go into that gaping gloomy hole, can I? Apparently not, not being that brave I
go fetch a flashlight.
Back at the stairway, I don’t even stop at the top. Right
away I go down the stairs so as not to change my mind. It looks so far down,
but it’s only thirteen steps. Thirteen steps where I have to fight my fright. With
each steps I keep repeating: “I’m not scared” “I’m not scared” “I’m not scared”.
At the bottom, the floor is so cold; I should have put my
shoes on. There is no turning back, if I don’t go now, I might not be brave
enough to come back.
I feel a draught on my neck, it’s like a beast breathing
down on me, I shiver; I have goose bumps. Every muscle in my body is so tense; they are like wound up springs ready to unravel at any moment.
If there are menacing creatures, they won’t be able to catch me, I’ll out race
them, I’m sure.
I think I haven’t taken a breath since the beginning of my
journey; I take a long deep breath.
I’m so glad I have a flashlight even though it adds to my
fright as it creates endless shadows.
I hear a noise on my right, I turn the light beam in that direction;
it’s a mouse looking straight at me. I hate mice! I keep the beam on it while I
back up slowly. It ignores me and gets back to what it was doing.
I hit the wall. The electric box is on my left. I skim the
wall being careful not to run into anything.
When I reach the box, I look up, I’m too small, I’ll need a
step or something to reach it. The only thing I can see is a toppled down chair
in the middle of the basement. I won’t touch it.
It is too much, I hurriedly get back to the stairs; I feel
Mom and Dad’s eyes following my every move. They just hang there, from the
rafters!
